A new board, a new wardrobe, and a new lease on life. Hopefully.
I’m reevaluating my entire life and everything I have ever done up to this moment– my quirks, my triumphs, my faults, my dreams, my haircut. To combat this, I am buying a skateboard. It is my hope that feeding my consumerist urges in the form of an item that I have no clue how to use will provide me with the wisdom and simple happiness of the Buddha thus filling the hole that my ex (if I can call him that???) left in my heart.
Is this what Alexa Chung was talking about in ‘It’? Is this what heartbreak feels like? Can I post a picture of myself reading that particular page and drinking cold brew with my succulents on Instagram, am I in the club? I mean, he’s not Alex Turner but in my neurologically effected state, he was even better than Alex Turner. Also did you know that break ups trigger a chemical reaction in the brain similar to drug withdrawal? The longer that he goes without contacting me, the more peace I find in not having to send laughable, half-hearted attempts at being *cute* while trying to actually get work done.
Actually, it really did affect my quality of work for school and for DNAMAG. I should have been studying but I was sulking in my bedroom with the curtains drawn and lights off listening to every sad song I know from Emily by From First to Last to Dying by Hole. I should have been writing about how awesome Jennifer Fisher jewelry is but I was engrossed in a riveting conversation about how I’m literally the fire emoji which spelled bad news for my article…I need to go back in and edit that thing.
At the end of our three day Shakespearean sonnet, he broke up with me over “lmao chill” and I think that is the most embarrassing part. Modern romance is weird and complicated and harsh and I’m not sure if I really want any part of it. I feel that way especially when I think about why I sent that killing text. It was really because I was so so so tired of never being asked how my day is going. Maybe I said “lmao chill” because I didn’t think he’d say ok and ghost me? Maybe I said it because I cared about him even though I barely knew him, maybe I can no longer look at anyone and think they are attractive because he is the only attractive one to me, maybe I wanted him to care about me and secretly I knew that he didn’t? But that stuff doesn’t matter, what matters is that I am going to own a skateboard and everything will be ok. Filling the void with things I’ll probably only use twice is bliss.
And with this new life sans immature boys and writer’s block and existential dread, I need a new wardrobe. These are clothes cute skater girls wear and because I am now a cute skater girl this is what I’m gonna wear. Plus, the only nudes I want sent to me are high renaissance paintings pls and thnx u.
P.s. I wrote this over a week ago when I was being emo and extra, but I’m 110% over it now and thriving. 🙏🏽
Etsy / 1970’s Denim Trucker Jacket
Alexander Wang / Mixed Yellow Gold and Rhodium Links Necklace
Alexander Wang / Shrunken Pullover With Strict Embroidery
M.i.h Jeans / Jeanne Jean
Unif / Little Ice Bag
Pixie Market / POMS and PARED Gato Sunglasses
Golf Wang / Eric Striped Polo
M.i.h Jeans / Hughes Sweater
Golf Wang / Golf Tote Bag
Palace / Conceal Jacket
Pixie Market / Blue Zip Bomber Jacket
Unif / Clarissa Sweater
Golf Wang / Multi-Color 3d Golf Hoodie
Etsy / Vintage Leather Jacket